MLM Talk

[Peter Arnold / Canada]

NWM => We're Not COMMUNICATING

Hello Business Associates:

Picture this scenario ... Using the SAME communication technique ==> will EXCITE some people ==> yet, will make others turn and RUN!

Picture another scenario --- WE only understand and speak FRENCH -- yet our PROSPECT only understands and speaks ENGLISH.

Would that cause any problems in our Biz Opp SPONSORING process - or in gathering our CUSTOMER base? YES, of course it would!

We've got to be able to speak our "prospect's language" -- in order to start CONNECTING with them - to build a RELATIONSHIP with them. It's that simple.

Although this example might be a bit exaggerated, this happens all the time in our normal daily Marketing activities. How often have we pounded our fists on the desk and exclaimed -- "I just don't GET him/her!" -or- "No matter what I say, I just can't seem to GET THROUGH to that person!"

Just because WE speak French -- we must not 'judge others' - or get frustrated with - those who DON'T.

Just because others don't think / talk / act exactly like US -- we must not panic.

Instead, we need to "seek to understand" -- to be more flexible and tolerant -- to get more information and knowlege and intelligence about -- ALL of those we communicate with.

In other words, (in essence) WE need to learn how to speak - English / German / Spanish / Italian ALSO -- if we ever hope to - RELATE TO - and better UNDERSTAND - and APPRECIATE those we come in contact with. Period.

How can we even 'begin' to build TRUST with people if -- from the start -- we're almost 'on opposite COMMUNICATION planets'? We can't.

Being in the P-E-O-P-L-E business, we in the Network Marketing profession especially, get in front of (or talk with) many, many people. Most, we might not know on an intimate level -- and often times, we don't know them at all (at least, not in the beginning).

MAJOR KEY ==> In my own opinion (and I'm learning as I go too), it is absolutely critical to our future success in this RELATIONSHIP // LEADERSHIP--BUILDING industry that we learn how to develop wide INTER-PERSONAL SKILLS.

It's all about the HUMANITY Factor.

And one of the finest ways to improve in this vital area is to gain deeper insight into what makes us ALL 'tick'-- our PERSONALITIES (call it the Psychology of Better Understanding Human Beings).

The FOUR (4) BASIC 'PERSONALITY' TYPES (( COLORS )):

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Some of us have already seen information on this, or read some good books about this subject. Two of the classics are Florence Littauer's best-sellers - "Personality Plus" + "Your Personality Tree". She has written over 15 great books (see link at the bottom to meet her and her works -- I receive 'no' rewards for this).

UNDERSTANDING 'OURSELVES' ==> With your permission, I'd like to share with you, some of the highlights of her teachings, as I feel this information can really help US to "understand ourselves" better -- and as well, in our businesses (and in life) to better recognize and more correctly communicate with each other by having knowlege on these 4 Personality Profiles (Colors) -- and to build a rapport with 'anyone'.

Knowing the 4 Colors can help us understand WHY our - spouse - children - parents - boss - co-workers DO the things they do. It can help us to 'better coach' out Biz Partners - to guide them in making good choices.

IN A 'BOX' ==> I think it's important to NOT "put ourselves (and others) in a box" with this -- because, although we all tend to have a DOMINATE personality -- each of us has shades of the OTHER traits too. This is NOT an exact science - there's NO black-and-white. It's important not to take this too seriously -- but to have some FUN with it -- use it as a 'guide' only. Further, we should always look for the BEST qualities in ourselves and others, in my view.

Here are the 4 Basic Personalities - with the "pros" and "cons" of each...

(1) => THE CONTROLLERS ('CHOLERICS') = REDS (15% of Population)

TYPICAL OCCUPATIONS - CEOs / Attorneys / Airline Pilots

= STRENGTHS - Strong, self-assured delegators - big egos (which is great, if they're in tact). These individuals are very outspoken and usually very 'results' oriented. They almost never have much fear about their ability to accomplish something. We should know that they require an opportunity to "take charge" - they like to do it their "own" way. We need to give them lots of choices -- and acknowledge them for their attributes -- and we will win their trust. They're born leaders and organizers - not easily discouraged. They excel in emergencies. They produce - seek practical solutions - exude confidence. Most independent business leaders are of this category, and should be admired - even if their (sometimes) overbearing impatience is a bit intimidating.

= WEAKNESSES - Bossy - impatient - quick tempered - can't relax - enjoys controversy and arguments - comes on too strong - is often not complimentary - dislikes tears and emotions - inflexible - little tolerance for mistakes - bored by trivia - may make rash decisions - may be rude - sometimes manipulates people - demands loyalty in the ranks - work may become his/her God - decides for others - has difficulty saying 'I'm sorry' - often possessive - controlling - not coachable - may be right, but unpopular.

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(2) ==> THE RELATERS ('PHLEGMATICS') = YELLOWS (30% of Population)

TYPICAL OCCUPATIONS - Nurse / Teacher / Foodbank worker

= STRENGTHS - YELLOWS are the complete 'opposite' of REDS. These warm, gentle, relationship-oriented people are amongst the care-givers of the world. They are excellent listeners - nurturers - and often soft spoken. They need to know that they are cared for - and that their own feelings matter. When we build a trusting relationship - and connect with them on a personal level - they will tend follow us anywhere. We need to be careful not to be loud and overbearing, for they tend to feel victimized and bullied very easily. They strive to be powerful - so we must assure them that we'll 'be' there with them - every step of the way. We need to give them lots of encouragement as they're sure to step up to the plate. YELLOWS are easy-going and relaxed. They tend to be patient and well balanced - quiet but witty - calm, cool and collected - kind and sympathetic - competent and steady - peaceful and agreeable. They have many friends - avoid conflicts - are good under pressure - will seek the easy way.

= WEAKNESSES - Unenthusiastic - fearful and worried - indecisive - shy and reticent - not goal-oriented - lack self-motivation - hard to 'get moving' - too compromising - resent being pushed - often lazy and at times careless - sometimes discourages others - would rather watch - is not exciting - often judges others - stays uninvolved - is often indifferent to plans - resists change - is a tease - tends to keep emotions hidden.

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(3) ==> THE * ('MELANCHOLYS') = GREENS (30% of Population)

TYPICAL OCCUPATIONS - Accountants / Engineers / Financial Planners

= STRENGTHS - Like the Controller//Choleric (RED) style, the *//Melancholys (GREEN)S are task oriented individuals - but in a quieter, more low-key way. They are very logical about things, putting their emotions on the back burner to make sure all the 'facts' are in order. We need to be organized and well planned to connect and work well with these individuals. Otherwise, they will see us as flighty and uninformed - and will negate our opinions. They typically find trusting others difficult - and change, uncomfortable. To build trust with them, we need to pay a little closer attention to the 'details' and do not exaggerate. This Personality mode tends to be thoughtful and deep - serious and purposeful - talented and creative - artistic or musical - appreciative of beauty - orderly and organized - conscientious and self-sacrificing - idealistic - sensitive - economical - a perfectionist - schedule oriented - detail conscious - sees problems / finds creative solutions - dependable - faithful, loyal and devoted - listens to complaints - tends to stay in the background - likes charts, graphs, figures, lists - likes to finish what is started - deep concern for others - can be moved to tears with compassion - humble.

= WEAKNESSES - Often moody and depressed - sometimes off in another world - guilt feelings - not as people-oriented - hard to please - full of contradictions - deep need for approval - holds back affection - often unforgiving - too introspective - tends to hypochondria - chooses work that's difficult - insecure socially - skeptical of compliments - prefers * to work - hesitant to start projects - dislikes those in opposition - withdrawn and remote - spends too much time planning - sometimes self-centered - often self-depreciating.

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(4)- THE FUN-LOVING ONES ('SANGUINES') = BLUES (15% of Population)

TYPICAL OCCUPATIONS - Sales Professionals / Public Speakers / DJs

= STRENGTHS - BLUES bring us to the "most social" of the group - and the opposite style of the task-oriented *//Melancholys (GREENS) . These people are the "life of the party" -- outgoing extroverts - with a great sense of humor. They often have difficulty with structure, but love to be expressive and have fun. We need to give them room to be creative and spontaneous - and they will jump right in. We should definitely NOT bog them down with details, but communicate with a ton of enthusiasm. They'll be very interested in the social side of Networking, for they're very relationship-oriented people and love to express themselves. This Personality style is appealing - always curious - good on stage before a crowd - a talker - a storyteller - volunteers for jobs - is cheerful - inspires others to join - charms others to work - lives in the present - has a memory for color - is cheerful and bubbly - always a child - sincere at heart - has energy and enthusiam - is emotional and demonstrative - apologizes quickly - doesn't hold grudges - likes spontaneous activities -thrives on compliments.

= WEAKNESSES - Compulsive talker - blunt - tends to exaggerate and elaborate - dwells on trivia - can't remember names - sometimes scares others off - is restless - undisciplined - priorities are often out of order - decides by feelings - naive (gets taken in) - totally disorganized - forgets obligations - is controlled by circumstances - easily distracted - wastes time talking - hates to be alone - needs to be center stage - wants to be popular - looks for credit - fickle - makes a lot of excuses - dosen't listen well - interrupts - poor attention span - tends to never grow up - does not follow through, usually.

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BOTTOM LINE - The more familiar we become with other's Personality styles, the better we'll be able to speak THEIR language -- the more likely we will be to easily CONNECT with them. For example, we probably wouldn't ask a RED to meet over a long, slow lunch -- because a quick power breakfast at 7:15 AM would probably be better (whereas a BLUE probably doesn't "do mornings"). And we wouldn't open a business conversation with a YELLOW - by reciting our Biz Plan, point-by-point - with all supporting data / charts, etc (a GREEN would eat that up) -- since this person (the YELLOW) would rather 'get to know' us first.

IDENTIFICATION - How do we KNOW which one of the 4 Personality styles our prospect is? The simplest way is to "listen hard" to how much someone talks. REDS and BLUES are generally fast-paced extroverts. Though they're outgoing in a little bit different ways (one, a commanding presence, a delegator -- and the other, more of a spontaneous entertainer) - both are passionate, energetic talkers. So for starters, if we meet someone who comes on strong and talks a lot -- they are likely either a RED or a BLUE (and we will immediately have an idea of their great strengths (and weaknesses).

On the other hand, if they're quiet - soft spoken - seemingly deep thinkers -- they are probably either a YELLOW or a GREEN. Neither one of these styles are quick to reveal what's really 'going on' with them. So, right away, if we can tend to 'peg' someone as very assertive and talkative -- or as low key and reserved, keeping to themselves -- we're probably half-way there.

GAINING THEIR 'TRUST' - WE really need to be able to "become like them" when we're talking with them -- put oueselves right into their shoes -- almost become chameleons -- it's extremely powerful in gaining their trust.

GETTING TO 'KNOW' - The second major sign is WHAT people say - and HOW they say it. We can usually expect BLUES to speak quickly - sometimes loudly - usually very strongly and confidently. They tend to listen less, and talk more. Usually, they make strong statements rather than asking questions. We can expect REDS to look at their watch a lot, checking the time, and making statements like -- "OK, let's get this settled right now!" -or- "What's the bottom line?" -or- "Get to the point!" -or- "What are the options?"

BLUES, on the other hand, are outgoing and verbal -- but because they are more 'people oriented' -- they have more of a social quality. Seldom being authoritative, the BLUE would probably include us in the conversation and be quite vague about results -- saying things like -"Hey, there's an idea, what do you think?" -or- "Spare me the details, just give the general drift." Something a lot less formal than the directive CHOLERICS would tend to say.

The more low-key YELLOWS and GREENS will often relate with 'questions' rather than 'direct statements' that reveal their own thoughts or feelings. The sensitive YELLOWS especially, are often indecisive - and little bit wishy washy. We might hear them say - "I'd like to go kind of slow on this, is that OK?" -or- "Will you be there to help me in this situation?" -or- "Can we do this together, until I get the feel for it?" Generally, they're not as quick to jump in and tell us exactly in a confident way what they think.

It would be typical for the GREEN to say something like - "Now let's look at this logically." -or- "Let's take this first step, and then we can decide step 2." They will tend to ask a lot of questions - and seem to appear deep in thought when they're listening. Typically, they will be touching their face, or resting their chin on their hands, as if they are in deep * of the situation.

PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR - Using this kind of simple guideline can actually give US some peace of mind - from discovering our OWN true identity -- being watchful that it's ONLY a reference point. I believe it can also help us with understanding the natural temperments in "family relationships", as mentioned above.

LOOK FOR THE 'STRENGTHS' - In her book ('Personality Plus'), the author 'stresses' how critical it is to truly "appreciate" the wonderful God-given talents / gifts / skills / strengths that we ALL have -- and to simply "gain helpful insight" into each other's weaknesses.

ADAPT - To work best with each Personality style in our BUSINESS, we simply need to adapt (customize) our approach a little -- and our follow-through. While retaining our OWN identity, we need to try to handle the different Personality styles we come in contact with -- in a way that puts THEM at ease. We need to speak with each prospect in the way that THEY relate to -- that THEY feel comfortable with. The rest will follow -- naturally.

TRAGEDY - In closing, I personally believe that this whole area of HUMAN RELATIONS has been one of the most neglected within our industry (and most others). 'Lack of communication' - because of not "listening" carefully to others - or trying to "understand" them better -- or due to egos out of control -- can cause untold hardship / misery / suffering in our lives. It can cause clients / customers / patients to find new sources -- it can cause businesses to go bankrupt -- it can cause friendships to break -- MLMs to stall -- marriages to collapse -- it can cause WARS.

==> "Buddha taught that men conquered the world only bu understanding the world." (Manly Hall)

==> "What the world lacks most today is, understanding and appreciation of one another, among nations and people." (Nehru)

COLOR 'CHART' - Here's a pdf file => http://www.sageart.com/colordetector.pdf

TEST YOUR 'OWN' COLOR? - To "test" your own Color, below is a link to well known Brian Tracy's site. You'll need to answer all the questions honestly - after which the answer will be e-mailed to you immediately => http://www.briantracyassessments.com/assessment.asp

I hope this exercise is as helpful to you as it has been for me.

Sincerely, Peter A.
http://www.PeterArnoldOnline.com

Peter Arnold, CLU, CFC // Founder
Business Achievers Academy // Canada