Sorting Through People To Join
Your Direct Sales Business
By Audrey Okaneko

I remember the first time someone spoke to me about “sorting through people”. I had to ask them to repeat what they had said. I was truly in shock that someone was suggesting I sort through people.

As a crocheter, I often sort through yarn at Walmart. My idea of sorting is looking for the right color. I’ll look and scan, and then reach deep into the barrel hoping to find just the right yarn for whatever project I am working on. Of course this means I’m tossing out those skeins I don’t believe are right for my project.

My daughter and I love to watch movies. Again at Walmart, my daughter and I can spend an hour sorting through the DVD sale bin. We toss aside those movies we already have or don’t wish to purchase and we put the ones we do want into our shopping cart.

This is my idea of “sorting”. So when I heard the word sort in reference to people I actually flinched a bit. I just could not imagine choosing only the “best” people and tossing aside the others.

As the years have passed, I’ve asked others exactly what they mean by “sorting through people”. Very few people even know what this means. They just know they’ve been taught this phrase and so they use it.

I’ve had a few folks that have told me they are indeed looking for “just the right person” to join their team.

Of course my next question is “what does the right person look like?” Again, I very seldom receive an answer. Is the right person tall? Is the right person short? How old is the right person? Is the right person single or married?

A few times I’ve been told “I’m looking for those who are serious about earning money”. Me, being a person of many questions, will then ask “how are you judging serious?” What word or phrase or answer must a person give to you to have you convinced they are “serious?”

Remember, my interpretation of “sorting” is looking for something specific and then tossing aside what I don’t want. The thought of doing this with people is a concept I just find to be horrible.

I really believe that almost everyone has something they can offer both to you and to your business. Instead of “sorting” through people the next time you’re looking for folks to work with, why not instead look inside and ask what you personally have to offer to the very person you’ve just met.

About the Author
Audrey Okaneko has been in business since 1983. She can be reached at audreyoka@cox.net or visited at http://www.scrapping-made-simple.com

Matching, Pacing and Rhythm
By Wendy Weiss

Last week I went to pay some bills online. I looked at my account and realized there were charges listed that I had never made. I called the bank immediately. We shut down all of my accounts and opened new ones.

I went to the bank 10 business days later, and I still did not have a functioning ATM card. That meant that rather than simply go to an ATM for c.ash, I had to wait in a long, long line at the bank for a teller. Twenty minutes later, by the time I got to the head of the line, I was seriously annoyed. I expressed my annoyance to the teller. Her response? "Calm down, Ma'am."

So my dear readers, do you think this response calmed me down?

Of course not. It had exactly the opposite effect. I went through the roof. "Don't tell me to calm down," I snarled. Where before I had simply been annoyed, now I was really angry. So why am I sharing my banking woes?

The above story illustrates a basic principal: If you want people to respond well to you, you must meet them where they are. Had that teller been well trained, and had she really wanted to calm me down, she should have responded by matching my intensity and agreeing that not having an ATM card and having to wait in a long line was really annoying. She could have then apologized for the situation ("I'm sorry you still don't have your card") and I would have felt heard and understood.

When making introductory calls, or even in your face-to-face meetings with prospects, you have no idea what may have happened the moment before you called or walked in the door. You have no way of predicting the mood or the personality of your prospect. Whoever they are and wherever they are, you want to meet them in the same place. This is called Matching. You want to match your prospect's intensity, energy, rhythm and personality as much as you can. This does not mean that if your prospect seems to be angry, you need to be angry too. It means that you acknowledge that anger and respond at a similar level of energy and intensity.

What is interesting is that if you match your prospect, you can then help them to shift their energy. Had that bank teller responded by acknowledging my annoyance and matching my energy, she would have calmed me right down. Once we were in the same place, all she would have had to do was speak a little more slowly. I would have followed. This is called Pacing. You go to where your prospect is, then you can start to take them to a different place.

Because I'm a dancer, rhythm is important to me. Everyone has their own internal rhythm. There are also regional differences in rhythm. I live and work in the Northeast. We tend to be speedier than other areas of the country. When I call another part of the country, I need to slow down a bit. I have a client based in the Midwest who frequently calls the Northeast. She needs to speed up when she makes those calls. This is also Matching. A good place to start is by simply listening to other people's rhythms. If they speak quickly, so do you. If they are a little slower, well, slow down. Over time you will begin to do this automatically. Once you've got the rhythm down, work on the other elements, the intensity and energy. You will find that the more you are able to Match and Pace your prospects, the easier it will be to build rapport and have great conversations.

© 2006 Wendy Weiss

About the Author
Wendy Weiss, "The Queen of Cold Calling," is a sales trainer, author and sales coach. Her recently released program, Cold Calling College, and/or her book, Cold Calling for Women, can be ordered by visiting http://www.wendyweiss.com. Contact her at wendy@wendyweiss.com. Get Wendy's free e-zine at http://www.wendyweiss.com.